Sharpedo Route Patrol
by SEG-CISR
Summary: Follow the Sharpedo Route Patrol's Route 130 branch as they do their job under the watchful lenses of a camera. Rated T for muscles.


**Plot Bunny. Carry on, Steve and Bob are OCs.**

"Today we'll follow the Sharpedo Route Patrol as they do their daily circuit around Route 130! This is the third day of Hoenn's Vigilante Organizations coverage, and this is Mana with Channel 3!" The camera moves to the right, slowly panning over the vast sea dotted by faraway rocks and the everpresent Sky Pillar, before focusing on two enormous men sitting on a long blue surface.

"Uh... hi. I'm Steve and that's Bob, we're the Sharpedo Route Patrol's Route 130 branch. We're actually the only branch of the organization, but we've been trying to recruit and... uh..." The tanned man scratched his long blonde hair, forgetting what he meant to say. As he moved nearly every single one of his muscles flexed, disturbing the pink-haired reporter who had settled between him and Bob.

Bob picked up the ball. "We think the coverage we get in TV will get us a few... prospective members." Steve nodded vigorously, his curly hair bouncing as he high-fived Bob behind the woman's back. "It's about... One o' clock right now; we're due to start."

"... Yes! Of course, uhh... I won't take up space here." Mana plucked out a Pokéball from her business-suit, fixing her large glasses before letting out her Pokémon. A Gyarados waved its tail at her as she climbed onto its head. The camera was unstable for a few seconds as the cameraman moved up with her.

Soon the two Speedo-clad men were back on screen. Bob picked a Pokéball from his swimwear and hopped onto his own Sharpedo, waving his curly brown hair over an extremely muscular shoulder.

"And we set out!" Steve pointed dramatically before sitting down behind his Pokémon's fin, happily letting his feet touch the cool water. The camera caught Mana's shudder as the man's leg muscles flexed.

--__--

"What we usually do is we Surf East in the Souther part of the route, along the rocks, and then move North by about... thirty meters or so and go back West. From there we repeat the process going North each time until we reach the Northern boundaries of the Route, which is marked by rocks and beyond that the whirlpools surround the famed Mirage Island." Steve leaned to his right, flexing as he went, and splashed himself with some water. Sharpedo beneath him burped out green goo, remains of a Tentacool. "Bob says he's seen it before, but I doubt it."

"It's full of Wynauts, man." Bob pulled his mane of hair off his neck and waved at his neck to cool it. He peered around, before he whipped his fist up, holding up his closed hand.

The group stopped its movement, and Steve sobered up. "Is that camera waterproof?"

Mana scoffed. "Of course it is; we're in the middle of the sea!"

"For how long can you hold your breath?" Bob piped up, lowering himself to his Pokémon. The camera caught his backside's shifting muscles in high definition for millions of children to see. "We'll need to dive; no cover in the open sea, you see?" He waved around.

Mana looked around in panic, but the cameraman seemed unmoved. Or at least the camera wasn't moving. A low voice piped up. "We have oxygen tanks, Ms. Mana."

"Oh, oh! Of course. Would you two like some? We have extras." The woman offered, reaching for something off-screen and bringing up a tank and mask. As she hooked herself up, the camera shifted too.

"We're fine; we do this every day! We can hold our breath for minutes at a time!" Bob flashed a thumbs-up, shifting around on his Pokémon's back. His Speedo left nothing to imagination.

--__--

Everything around was tinted blue; movement was sluggish and very little of the underdressed, overly muscular men could be seen. Mana was still fiddling with the snorkel she had picked up from some bag, but Bob and Steve had no problem seeing in the salt water.

Bubbles trailed their huge tanned bodies, along with their obscene hair. Steve turned around on his Pokémon, gesturing upwards and forwards, where shadows could be seen along with the bottom of a Wailmer. Beside the Pokémon two small legs kicked at the water, the little person's bottom surrounded by a large floater.

Bob nodded towards the other man, slowly counting down as they noted a tall skinny man leaning down to the little girl in the water. As he reached zero he punched upwards and the two Sharpedos flung themselves out of the water. Gyarados followed, and the camera shook as the Pokémon stabilized itself above the water.

"Stop right there, scum!" Steve stood on his Pokémon with crossed arms, glaring sternly at the man wearing shorts and a floral shirt. The lanky man had short brown hair and snazzy shades, along with a hard-on. The little pigtailed girl in the water blinked curiously at the two men who had popped out of nowhere.

"Pedo!" Below Steve his Pokémon cried out to the man.

"Pedo! Sharpedo!" Bob's Pokémon chimed in.

**So yeah.**


End file.
